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Chapter Six: The Nightmare

3 May
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Kick the covers off using both feet.

“Damn, damn, damn.”

Daylight. Morning. I hate mornings. No one should have to get up until at least noon.

Not much sleep last night, nightmares full of blood and body parts and angry people who refused to die. But then who sleeps well when they just decided to become a murderer the night before?

Who decides to become a murderer anyway? Besides me of course.

That alone is enough to give a person nightmares.

And what about me?

So I ask myself. Can you even murder anybody? You’ve never killed anything in your life. Not even a bug. Not a bee, not a spider, not even a fly.

Nothing.

How in hell do you kill a human being?

Not like there is a school you can go to that will give you online training in the privacy of your own home. Who teaches murder?

Can you Google that? You can Google everything else. Go to Google, all the information that can be found is here somewhere.

Not safe.

If you did find the answer on the net some Abby Sciuto somewhere would find out you had and then what?

Premeditated murder.

Don’t want that. If something goes wrong and you are caught red-handed you want to be able to claim it was spur of the moment: Self defense preferably. What if something goes wrong? Better think about that too. Better think about that a lot.

Premeditated murder. If someone really premeditated it the first priority would be to get away with it. By law premeditation means intending to do it, even minutes ahead of actually doing it. But real premeditation? That requires careful planing in advance. Which is a nasty snag because I can only take so much time or it will be too late.

Back to the question.

How do you learn to kill?

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the Story within the Story

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