Tag Archives: Spider

Chapter Eleven: The Cat

7 Jun
BTW when you are done reading this chapter. If you think thinking is fun; if you think philosophy should be for everyone try reading  TheMapThinker.com

BTW when you are done reading this chapter. If you think thinking is fun; if you think philosophy should be for everyone try reading TheMapThinker.com

Killing bugs becomes boring. At first it was exciting. At first it was a challenge. Overcoming fear. Then the night mares. The nightmares.

Dreams that bugs flushed down drains during the day would come swarming up out of them at night, looking for the person who tried to drown them. Looking for revenge. Dreams that spiders squished between the holes in fly swatters reassembled themselves, slowly, carefully, and came looking, looking for ME!

Dreams that thousands of bugs would congeal together in a huge mass, sometimes human form, sometimes the form of some grizzly monster that could never exist, huge hulking masses of insects, with one purpose in mind – To destroy me.

Those nights that I dreamed they covered me and devoured me; those were the nights I woke up screaming.

Each day I had to overcome my fear anew. Each day I had to force myself to kill and kill again. Until I slew armies of insects. Nations of insects.

Every night they got their revenge on me.

Every day I got my revenge on them.

Until one night.

I dreamed they covered the house and came pouring through every orifice they could find. The tiniest cracks that could exist. They flooded like a massive flood of brown bodies.

But instead of waking up screaming I reached under the covers and from nowhere I produced a flame thrower. And it was already on and afire with death and destruction for all things with six or more legs. I burned down the room, the house, and every bug, insect, spider, and creepy crawly within a block.

That night I woke up laughing.

From then on I killed bugs all day and I killed bugs all night. Until I became bored with killing bugs.

Now what? Something with more meat. An animal. A dog or a cat. How do you kill a dog or a cat? Do you poison it? Strangle it? Shoot it. Drown it?

Stupid problems. You would think someone plotting murder would be more forceful, would be more straight forward and daring. More in control. What was the term? A cold blooded killer. Someone who planned to kill someone without passion, the same way they would plan to go on a vacation. As adverse to a hot blooded killer who killed during the heat of passion. Where did I fit in there? The kid who is afraid to stick its hand in the cookie jar?

I don’t want to start shooting things yet. But I need a gun. Sooner or later I will need to shoot something. Someone. Yes. I need a gun. A gun that is not registered to me. A gun that cannot be traced to me.

How do I do that?

Can’t buy it from anyone. If you buy a gun, it doesn’t matter who you buy it from, then someone somewhere knows you have that gun. Nope. Can’t buy one.

If you steal a gun it would almost have to be from someone you knew. You would have to know them at least well enough to know they owned a gun. Then there would be a connection between you and the gun.

There can be no connection.

In the mean time I guess I will go kill a cat.

 

 

© 2013 All Rights Reserved

Chapter Nine: The Spider

25 May
BTW when you are done reading this chapter. If you think thinking is fun; if you think philosophy should be for everyone try reading  TheMapThinker.com

Does Philosophy need to be updated to the modern world? TheMapThinker.com does.

Hating mornings doesn’t help. You still have to get out of bed.

Gotta answer the question though. How does a killer think of themselves? And …

Serial killers. Are they addicted to killing? Don’t want that to happen. Sure as hell don’t want to go through life having to resist the urge to kill people. If you train the way a serial killer trains do you become one yourself?

Still you have to train somehow.

Freezing and not going through with it the first time is not an option. It would lose everything. Plus probably go to jail for the attempt. No. No. No.

Got to train. Got to think of the target as an IT.

How do killers think of themselves?

This is a problem. It can be solved. You solve that problem by killing IT.

No. Don’t want to think of yourself as a killer. A solver, but that sounds kind of stupid. Avenger? There is nothing to avenge. Nothing has happened yet. Your job is to keep it that way. Stop it from happening.

You didn’t choose your job, your job chose you, but it is still your job.

Stopper? No. That sounds like a cork in a Champaign bottle.

Keeper? That sounds just plain stupid.

“I am the solution.” How does that sound?

The Solution had better start solving something. Mastering the art.

A lot of serial killers go after those who are least likely to be missed or sought after. By killing prostitutes, transients, drug addicts, they can go for years without anyone realizing a serial killer is even operating. Perhaps that should be the place to start.

No, not start. The first human to kill, the practice target to make sure you don’t screw up on the real deal. Even serial killers don’t start with humans they start with…

What?

Never killed anything before. Not a bug. Not a spider. Hate spiders. Tell the truth, spiders are scary. Killing a spider is scary.

Damn. Like you are not afraid to kill a person? Like you are not afraid that you’ll do it and then get caught? Like you are not afraid you’ll botch it up and go to jail without having done it? Like you are not afraid you’ll chicken out and not do it at all and just let your life be ruined? Other’s lives too.

Yeah. Okay, scared. Admit it. Need a drink. Can’t drink: need a clear head. Practice. Need to practice murder.

How? Bombers during the war caused havoc that killed innocent women and children, but they felt no guilt because they were removed from the chaos. They pressed a button. They did not see the faces of the people they killed. Kind of like a computer game, maybe even less personal.

There is a daddy-long-legs in the garage. Everyone says it is a harmless spider, but it is still a spider. There is also an ice scraper in the garage, has about a three-foot handle. Is that far enough away?

Okay, get up your nerve. You are The Solution and the only solution is to kill it. Go to the garage: Open the door: Turn on the light.

Yep, there is the spider in the corner. Just where it was last time.

Now the ice scraper, hanging on the wall, just where it was last time.

Here I stand, in the middle of the room, just where I stood last time.

Hating the spider.

Fearing the spider.

Believing the spider knows I am looking at it.

Believing the spider knows I am afraid of it.

But not tonight.

Tonight I get my hand, both hands, on the ice scraper, I force myself to yank it off the wall. There is a lead pipe in my chest that wants to weld me to the ground and keep me from moving. I know it is my fear. My unreasonable fear. The fear that wants to suck the life out of me just as that spider would if it were big enough.

It wants to.

I know it wants to.

It wiggled in its web. It turned to look at me, I know it did. It is watching me.

It wants to know what I am doing.

I stare at the spider.

The spider stares at me.

If I can’t kill a spider how can I kill a human being? I must kill the spider. I must: I must. I have to kill the spider.

I will kill the spider.

I am the Solution. The solution is to kill IT.

Remember, It is not a spider, It is not a human being. It is an It and I must kill It.

I charge the spider holding the ice scraper with both hands in front of me.

“Die, It, die.”

© 2013 All Rights Reserved

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ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

War By Other Means

Politics & Philosophy

this is... The Neighborhood

the Story within the Story

stillness of heart

MUSINGS : CRITICISM : HISTORY : PASSION

The Guilty Preacher Man

abandoned illustrations

matchtall

A tall women amazon model WordPress.com sit

Three Wise Guys

Best not to think about it

Mister G Kids

A daily comic about real stuff little kids say in school. By Matt Gajdoš

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

The Judy-Jodie and Kelli Memorial Blog

A great WordPress.com site

A Financial Life Coach

Your Financial Life Coach

Storyshucker

A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Dysfunctional Literacy

Just because you CAN read Moby Dick doesn't mean you should!

Top 10 of Anything and Everything - The Fun Top Ten Blog

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

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Thoughts

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